Mad as a March Hare


Auditions:

Hey hey, you’re a monkey.

An authentic preschooler, please.

Siri. But friendlier.

A warlord.

You’re the voice of Winter.

Scarlett Johansson (again).

The voice of … (yes, don’t we all hate this description) - GOD.

OK, quick…You’re the Easter bunny. But you’re the scary, evil Easter bunny… with a Rastafarian accent. No, wait, now you’re an old queen. Well, that is to say, old English royalty- not an old gay man. But you could say I’ve been asked to voice everything but…


Working in voice over, we stretch muscles every day that we didn’t even know we had. We do vocal exercises to warm up and gain better control. We also stay fit by auditioning. It’s what keeps us juicy. And to stay competitive- just like anything else- you’ve gotta bust a move on some sort of regular basis. Or you lose the muscle.

Case in point. Characters. It’s kinda like stretch class. The more you reach, the greater your flexibility. It’s that little “ouch”-pull in the opposite direction that keeps us limber and growing. And yes, crazy. But good crazy.


So, here’s one way you can create your own stretches.

In voice over, anything you can see, hear, smell and even imagine- has a life.

So, essentially, it has the potential to become a character.


Try this:

Look at that big ole dust ball, collecting in the corner of the room on the floor over there. You see it? I don’t really wanna touch it, do you? It’s dirty. It’s been sitting there for G_d knows how long. It’s stale. It's musty. And it might even smell.

There’s little pieces of stuff caught up in it. Little bits of muck.

Who IS that dust ball? What’s his story? How long has he been there?


Write it down.


What does this old dust ball sound like? What does he feel like? He’s old. He’s exhausted. He’s cranky. Covered in crap. And no one really wants to be around him. They’d rather sweep him up and dump him somewhere.

Maybe he’s a she.

In any case, poor ole dust ball.


Now, as we say in New York "ga ‘head."

Voice that thang. Make yourself giggle.

Or cry. But give it a real life. A past.

How 'bout a mission.


So, what about that smell coming out of your refrigerator?

Who is that? Dat's some stinky cheeseman, that is.


I hope you’re listening. Not necessarily to me, but to every voice you hear on adverts, cartoons, docs, websites, trailers, you name it. Voice actors share a common goal.


To convey a message -truthfully.


That said, make note of what speaks to you and grabs your attention.

Even that little whisper in your ear HAS A LIFE. And if it has a life, it has a voice.

All these voices in your head can make ya crazy – but hey, like I said before,

good crazy.






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